Sunday, April 18, 2010

Hate

Hate?
Seriously, I do not hate any of my friends.
I just hate myself.
Myself.

Something happened recently.
And seriously, I never met such big challenge before.
And now here is the question.
Whose fault?
My fault or the other party's fault?

I am having a hardtime now.
Again, seriously, I have no idea on what will happened between us in the future?
Asking myself, asking myself...

I am thinking again...
Is this the fate?
I accidently hurted you before and now is the time for you to hurt me.
Fair now.
But, you hurted me too much in the incident.
I cant believe that.

Sometimes, I just think that.
A status cant prove anything.
But kailiang, wake up now.
You need to wake up.

Yeah...
I need to wake up...
To be myself...


P.S. feeling more comfortable after saying it out
P.S. One more thing, thanks for your words, XXX XXXXX... you know who you are... nice friend
P.S. Time for Mata, Silva and Villa


Sunday, April 4, 2010

A meaningful article

I found an article in the internet...
and seriously...
it is a bit... a bit...
just have a look and you will know it...

请不要伤害那些外表开心的人

总有一些人,他们看上去整天都很开心,嘻嘻哈哈的,没有
烦恼,像个小孩,他们会说玩是我最大的乐趣,我很喜欢玩,我什么都会玩人多的时候他们脸上总挂着笑容,好多人都会羡慕他们,然而这其实是他们最悲哀的地方,他们不想让别人看到自己难过的一面,更没有能力一个人独处,因为当夜深人静的时候,他不知道一个人会发生什么事,坐在窗前冥想走过的点滴,没有人读的懂他们,想着想着貌似快乐的他们就会黯然流下一脸的悲伤,然后自己对自己说:其实也没什么,命运吧!所以他们就整天逼自己笑,以此来逃避那些常人所不能不承受的痛苦!
他们貌似很坚强,因为在别人看来,他们什么事都能微笑着去面对,但事实上他们长着世界上最脆弱的心灵,只是长期的伪装使得别人很难发现他们内心深处的创伤。 他们其实非常孤独,虽然看到他们时都是在跟一群人谈天说地,那是因为他们实在不能承受一个人时的折磨!
他们只想简简单单、快快乐乐的活着,期待并且相信每个人给的笑容都是真心的,希望身边的人都是真正的喜欢自己。即使别人小小的意见,也会另他们难过好久,他们真的真的很介意,介意自己不被人喜欢。因为,他们总是为别人想的很多,对别人总是比对自己好;把能对喜欢的人好当做幸福,喜欢别人比喜欢自己多。
他们总是那样,前一秒还伤心的流着泪,后一秒出现在朋友面前的时候,已经满脸溢着灿烂的笑容。有人说他们是向日葵,是的,他们在意的人就像是太阳,在面对太阳的时候永远是明艳的花瓣,而太阳照不到的背面,那悲伤藏得那么好,不愿被看见。
他们向往放纵自由的生活,却必须为了谁很努力的朝另外的一个方向活着,很累很累,却仍是心甘情愿。离自己的梦境越来越来远,不得不面对从未想过的争夺和复杂,恐慌、不知所措。只有面对最信赖的人时,才会卸下盔甲,委屈的流下眼泪。因为在他们心里,笑就是开心,哭就是难过,接近就是喜欢,远离就是讨厌。但其实不是,他们明白了,心好伤,眼泪就没忍住。哭过之后,笑笑得擦干眼泪,说,没关系,我可以做的很好的。
他们好像无所不能,好像总是不会有烦恼,好像什么问题都能轻而易举的解决,总是喜欢喜欢出现在流泪的人面前,笑嘻嘻的逗着笑。而面对自己的问题,他们却茫然无措,面对自己的悲伤,他们只会躲在人们看不见的角落里慢慢由伤口越裂越大。
他们的想法非常简单,说出来的就是心里所想的,肚子里不会拐七道八道的小弯,无心的话可能会引起别人的误解。所以,请别记恨他们,他们从不愿伤害谁,小小的错误就能让他们懊悔很久。
他们其实非常单纯,甚至你曾经给了他一个微笑他也会一辈子记得你的好,因此他们的世界观其实也很简单,他们很容易受蛊惑 ,请不要轻易的伤害他们的感情,因为一旦伤害了,那就将永远弥补不回来! 如果你身边有这种人请你给予他(她)那怕是凤毛麟角的那点关怀,让他(她)知道这个世界没有抛弃他们。。。如果你的身边有这么一个人!请不要伤害他(她)们!因为她们并不坚强。。。。。。。。。。。。

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Everything, sniper, friends

I told and promised myself and others...
It is the time...
I picked up my sniper again...
Accurate...
Silent...
And the most important is...
Calm...
I told myself I can do it...

However...
Seriously...
It is hard...
Especially when everything is not in your expectations...
I am tired again...
Of everything...
Although I slept for 8 hours last night...
I am still tired...
I looked older and older...
Sweat...

I always tell myself...
Can I go through them?
Seriously my answer is trying my best...
And the best...

Friendship...
Is the thing that I care the most...
However...
This week...
It is a truth...
I faced the biggest challenge in my life regarding friendship...
My sniper skill is blunt...
I cannot identify or differentiate...
Who is the one?
Who is the one?
Aiming but not accurate...
Friendship, friendship, and friendship...

I told myself...
I shall do everything and my best for my friends...
If they faced problems...
Both shoulders and ears are available...
Reverse it...
What happened when I am down?
Seriously,
it is hard to find someone to chat, share your problems, and listen to your problems...
Trust me...
It is very very hard...

And now...
Not going to be blurred...
Bruce...
You are right...
I think it is the time...
I picked up my sniper rifle again...

Friends, please, do not disappointed me again...
My heart is not strong enough to face it again...

Tired, tired, and tired...