坚持

曾经。。。

三年前。。。

对某些事。。。

还很耿耿于怀。。。

固执。。。

三年后的现在。。。

开始。。。

放下了。。。

当面对不如意的事时。。。

只有心中默念。。。

要坚强。。。

当付出但得不到所要的。。。

对自己说。。。

我尝试过了。。。

我对得起自己。。。

当得不到别人的认同。。。

或别人不珍惜你的付出。。。

或认定你做错了。。。

对自己说。。。

只要自己觉得对的。。。

就可以了。。。

发觉自己变了许多。。。

也开始怀念以前的我。。。

那个无所畏惧的我。。。

那个开朗的我。。。

我不能倒下。。。

迷失

第一次用华语写部落格。。。

我迷失了。。。

几个月里。。。

一直问自己。。。

发生什么事？？？

对自己。。。

除了失望。。。

还是失望。。。

面对一切不如意的事。。。

我。。。

无法改变。。。

只能接受。。。

唯一对自己自豪的。。。

就是。。。

我。。。

还没倒下。。。

必须告诉自己。。。

一定要坚强。。。

我发誓。。。

崩溃过。。。

也哭过。。。

也醒了。。。

问自己。。。

奇迹。。。

还会发生吗？？？

告诉自己。。。

命运是掌握在自己手上。。。

烦恼中。。。

问自己。。。

我

还

有

多

少

能

耐

？

我没哭。。。

因为眼泪已干了。。。

坚强的面对。。。

Y3S3

What have I learnt throughout this semester?

Many...

And no doubt...

I lose my way...

I am wondering...

Where is the brave and fearless kailiang?

Where is the accurate me?

I need to find back...

Not happy recently...

Feel like being...

I miss the kailiang 3 years ago...

Random update.

After midterms...

Here come the assignments...

Need to work hard for that...

Praying hard for my results and cgpa...

Try my best on it...

Never regret...

Who will I be after the submission of assignments?

Maybe...

Half dead...

Zombie look...

Panda...

Hmm...

Just draw my sword and fight...

Fearless...

That's what I can say now...

Pictures

Just some pictures of mine recently...

Gatherings are always the best for me...

Update, friendship, tired, nothing

Just have a random post to update to all of you that...

I am not fine at all now...

Not having good sleep for few days and quite tired now...

With reasons...

Seriously...

I am emotional now...

I am just always asking myself the same question...

Where is my courage?

Where is my motivation?

I cant believe myself that my tears dropped down...

I am way too tired of pretending?

Recently, I really understand and believe the power of STRESS...

It is killing...

Can you imagine stress coming from every direction and attacking you?

Studies, Assignments, Friendship, and Trust...

Again...

I would like to say and announce that...

As usual...

Scourge is winning...

I always tell myself that...

Just face the reality...

This world is realistic...

JUST

FACE

THE

TRUTH

What to cheer my now?

Who can cheer me now?

Random

Another random post...

At 430am...

What?

Yea...

I can't sleep...@@

I lose my courage...

Where is the kailiang 2 years ago...

Who is fearless and never give up easily...

I am serious this time...

No doubt...

However...

Playing in my mind

A song is keep on playing in my mind...

Wouldn't change a thing by Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato...

What a nice song...

Addicted...

What happened to me?

Throughout this 2 months?

Feeling myself is just so busy...

I know...

I need to stay strong...

Stay tough...

The war begins again...

What are my motivations now?

Family...

Friends...

True friends...

Starwalk...

Primary school gathering...

Yumcha with secondary schoolmates...

Tell myself...

I can go through that...

And someone...

God...

Please help me...

Please bless me...

Please lead me...

Addicted to this picture too...

Promise me...

You all are my motivations to continue the war...

Random

God...

I am scare now...

I am in fear now...

What can I do?

I am trying my best all the time...

But...

But...

Please save me...

I need some words from you...

Everything goes wrong...

I am scare and worry...

Scare and fear that I cant handle the problems...

I know...

I am staying strong all the time...

And I promise...

Blessing...

Random

I shouldn't be like this anymore...

What am I now?

Who am I now?

I have no idea...

Again...

Feel that the world is unfair...

Unfair enough...

Enough!!!

I need to change...

Someone...

Sometimes...

In my mind...

I cant forget what had she done...

I never forgive you???

Maybe...

You are such a disappointment...

What can I say now is...

Please...

Don't ever think that you are great and you can do everything since you are beautiful...

You are such a bitch!!!

Daughter of bitch!!!

Sorry for saying such rude words...

For a long time

For a long time...

I am just speechless...

I am tired of saying everything out...

Mentally and physically tired and sick...

I just cannot control myself...

What am I thinking now?

Wouldn't change a thing...

I'm with you...

Sorry...

Someone is just my motivation now...

Nothing to say but...

Thank a lot to her...

Maybe...

She gets into my life in the suitable time...

The time where I experienced the downturn...

Blessing...

Something

Heading for another assignment later...

And seriously...

I am tired...

Can you expect to drive a car but in fact the car has no fuel at all?

That's my condition now...

Tired of assignments and tests...

Tired of someone...

Hiko is right enough to point it out...

Never sad...

Never cry...

And never disappointed when these things happened...

But in fact...

You shall smile...

And I promise...

I will smile...

After I am done with my assignments...

Will tell in details...

Soon...

Now I only realised

Since these few days...

Recently...

I learned something...

Something that is valuable...

I know that I need to go through that...

No matter how tough it is...

Although others are ignoring you...

I am just myself...

For a long time... friendship forever...

I have not post something happy here...

For a long time...

Camenn gives me the power to do that...

Gonna thank her a lot...

Seriously...

You are not my friend...

You are not my primary classmates...

Because...

You are my good and best friend...

Until yesterday...

I am still emotional on something...

Something that seemed hard to be solved...

What happened now?

Nothing much in fact...

Just that...

I changed...

After your words...

Just cannot imagine...

You words are sharp enough to wake me up...

Someone just online...

Probably?

No way...

Is must...

Maybe you won't understand what am I talking...

Before ending my post...

Thanks again my friend...

At least...

I am more comfortable and happier now...

And your novels...

HIGH 5!!!

FRIENDSHIP FOREVER...

p.s I know I am long gas... gratz again for passing all your paper... hehe...

A story... the story between us

I am sick...

Sick terribly...

Tired...

I just cannot concentrate...

Probably...

The hot weather...

I read a love story forwarded by my friends...

And unbelievable...

I was touched by the storyline...

And it makes me to...

For a long time...

Long time ago...

I was just...

What am I writing...

I am just a lousy one...

Who not dare to face the truth...

Professional in pretending?

Probably...

Time for it...

There is only one way...

At least the best way for me to solve the problem...

I think I get it...

Moody, fearless, sad, cry, when you are gone.. what happened...

Hello again my blog...

Again...

I am sad...

Seriously...

Yesterday...

Or maybe...

Since the whole week...

I learnt many things...

Still cannot accept the truth...

I am just so sad...

And moody...

Since Monday...

I set my family and relatives picture as my desktop background...

And I told myself...

In this world...

No matter what happened...

If you lose your love one...

If you lose your friendship...

You still have your family...

Your dad...

Your mom...

Your brother...

Your grandpa...

Your lovely and caring cousins...

And you will never walk alone...

With reason...

I am emo recently...

Just admit that...

I am mature...

But I am emotional...

Especially this week...

Cried for times...

Tired of my life...

Oh great...

I am crying now...

Addicted to When You Are Gone by Avril Lavigne...

With reasons...

Admit that...

Previously...

Under certain situations...

(Coughing badly)

I was not thinking rationally...

Promise myself...

I will stay strong and change...

Seriously...

Appreciate Teck Hoe for accompanying me the whole night...

Alex for your advise...

I am really feeling better now...

Cheers...

Time for some happy songs?

This is our song...

Live to party...

Fearless...

Lets do it...

Stay strong...

Wouldn't change a thing

Seriously...

These few days...

Thanks a lot to Dan tart and my songs...

At least...

They healed my heart and soul...

Pain-ing...

Thanks Dan tart...

Thanks my songs...

And lastly...

Wouldn't change a thing...

By Demi and Joe...

It's like he doesn't hear a word I say

His mind is somewhere far away

And I don't know how to get there

It's like (She's way too serious)

All he wants is to chill out (She's always in a rush)

He makes me wanna pull all my hair out (And interrupting)

Like he doesn't even care (Like she doesn't even care)

You, (me)

We're face to face but we don't see eye to eye

Like fire and rain (Like fire and rain)

You can drive me insane (You can drive me insane)

But I can't stay mad at you for anything

We're Venus and Mars (We're Venus and Mars)

We're like different stars (Like different stars)

But you're the harmony to every song I sing

And I wouldn't change a thing

Admit that...

I am just so scare in facing the truth...

Although I know it...

I will just pretend that I do not know anything...

I am just so...

Admit that...

I seldom to have post when I am happy...

I am so often to post while I am down...

Yeah...

I am down again...

Admit that...

I am just so good...

In pretending...

When in front of all...

I am just like to joke...

When I am alone...

I am really alone...

Admit that...

We cant go back to the initial point...

And start it all over again...

It's too late...

Cry

I never cry...

For a long time...

Thinking of want to cry just now...

But at last...

No tears...

I admit that...

I made a silly and big mistake N years ago...

I am just so shock of the previous me...

Cant even imagine why I can make such mistake during that time...

Admit that...

Appreciate some friends...

Still care on me when I was making the mistake...

But...

But...

I am speechless...

I am just pretending all the way...

Pretend to be happy during the journey back...

In fact...

When I know the truth...

My heart is bleeding...

Probably...

I am good in covering myself...

Appreciate those who care me...

I...

Random

I learnt something today...

And it's time to wake up...

It is a hard decision...

But...

What to do when you have no choice?

Just...

Sometimes

Supposed to be a nice post...

But after viewed my facebook notifications...

Everything changed...

Sometimes...

Just admit that...

Some friends of mine just cannot accept failure...

Sometimes...

Why someone cannot just admit their mistakes?

And when someone is just complaining your mistakes...

You just take it as backstabbing...

Oh...

Come on...

Paul...

Do you understand why I keep on saying thank you and sorry to my friends?

Not because I am a faker...

But...

That my rules?

Just like Jason Statham have his rules in Transporter...

On my radio...

But I feel so cold and the environment is so quiet...

I feel cold mentally but not physically...

Trust me...

I think...

I need advise...

Probably...

Before my new semester

Four more days...

And it gonna be an endless war...

Before my new semester...

Just realised that...

I still have many things to do...

I just cant imagine that...

LOL...

1. Arrange my music files. Guess what, I cant believe that I have 1000+ songs in my laptop. Taylor Swift, Jonas Brothers, Avril Lavigne, Demi Lovato, Beyonce. Oh my god. It gonna takes alot of time.

2. Watch my downloaded video. Camp Rock, Camp Rock 2 the Final Jam, Alpha and Omega, 大笑江湖, and dramas.

3. Sleep as much as possible.

4. Watch tonight football.

5. Clear my mind for the endless war.

6. Arrange my pictures in my laptop, if possible.

7. "Practice" back my eagle eye.

Thats all.

No more "Who will I be"

But "I am who I am"

P/S Please leave your message on my chatbox to let me know who is viewing my blog. A great thanks.

Something happy

Yea...

I am happy...

Not because I am in a relationship...

Just simply happy...

Without reason...

Guess what...

Seriously...

Last semester...

I learnt many things...

I experienced many things...

I discovered many things...

The truth...

The ugly...

Seriously...

I am just so okay with my last semester exam result...

Not much feeling...

Thats what I gained with my efforts...

Should thank GOD for passing all my subjects...

Appreciate...

Stay strong...

I am still glad that there are a lot of friends around me...

The secondary schoolmates...

The primary school classmates...

Foundation gang...

Dan Tart and the gang...

Danielle...

Wei Chuan...

CJ Housemates...

Madeleine...

Kit Lee...

Wan Shyan...

Suqi...

There are too many...

Promise...

Let make miracles together...

(Jesus Navas)

Semester break...

What I had done...

As usual...

Gatherings!!!

Trip...

And my lovely cousin's wedding...

OKOK...

Time for some pictures...

Our friendships last forever

Take 2...

Wedding... try to find me?

The gathering... miss the moment...

Misu!!!

Aunt and family + me... LOL

Aunt and me... LOL

Many friends had left Malaysia for their further studies...

I miss them much...

I miss the moment where I called junhui "Hojun"

I miss fatt chi and wai khan...

I miss ostan, jasper, jian ziong...

Guys...

Until the next time we meet...

Take care and cheers...

High 5!!!

Random

Another random post again...

Oh come on...

I am really bored...

No doubt...

What else to do while waiting my MP3 to be fully charged?

What am I going to do tomorrow?

What can I do in the coming 1 week?

Oh come on!!!

"Funny" Carlie reminded me of the exam results...

It gonna be released...

Bless me please...

I am thinking...

Hmm...

Still thinking...

Songs of the day?

Yeah...

"What the hell" by Avril Lavigne

"Who will I be" by Demi Lovato

^^

Stay strong...

What the...

1 more week...

And I gonna start my new semester...

Trust me...

It is gonna be a tough semester...

Yea...

1 more week...

What can I do?

TV?

Movie?

Drama?

FIFA?

COD4?

Awww...

1 more week...

And I gonna mad...

1 more week...

I thought wanna go for KL trip...

But due to some funny reasons...

Cancelled...

And I gonna sing Avril new song...

What the hell!!!

Live to party!

I still cant understand...

Tell me why...

The fate

According to one of my friends...

She told me some meaningful words...

If you cannot change the situations and the things around you...

What can you do is just accept it...

No more "Wouldn't Change A Thing"...

Sometimes...

Just cannot understand...

Just feel...

Why I just cant???

Something

2010? I really have no idea on you...

2011? Probably, a new year and a new me...

I told myself...

Suddenly...

I feel like...

I changed...

2011...

Again...

Friends are everything...

I will care on those who care on the friendships between us...

Those who do not care on the friendships between us?

Just ignore them...

2010? A blur and unclear understanding on friendships...

2011? A clear understanding on the meaning of friendships...

Just so easy...

As long as you care on the friendships between us, you are my friends...

Thanks a lot to everyone that by my side throughout last year...

Well...

No doubt, I love Barcelona besides Liverpool. Lets play some match game...

Victor Valdes (GK) My family. Thanks a lot to my dad, my mom and my little and cute cute brother during the tough time. Thanks a lot for supporting me when I faced difficulties on my studies. I promise I will change and improve.

Daniel Alves (RWB) Bruce. I cannot admit that. You are mature. Thanks for giving me a lot of advises on friendships, love matters, studies and "ren sheng dao li". Thanks for your words and counsels. Promise you to stay strong. Appreciate for your fetching during gathering. Will be my turn to be drive when I am back. Not going to say much because "BUDDIES" =)

Gerard Pique (CB) Ashley. Same as Bruce, you are mature and I know that I can rely on you during my tough time. Although your advises are ridiculous sometimes, lending me a hand during my downturn. Appreciate

Charles Puyol (CB) Paul. Thanks for accompanying me during my downturn. Because of you guys (Bruce + Ashley + Kok Chow), I promise myself to stay strong. Hanging out with you guys have given me the motivations and happiness.

Eric Abidal (LB) Kok Chow. This is a truth. You guys are the reasons for me to go through the tough life. Having nice chats with you on MSN. Happy to share my problems with you. Thanks for tolerating me as I was annoying sometimes.

Xavi (CM) Dan Tart and the gang + Wei Chuan. No doubt. 2010, I face my downturn in my university life. Being discriminated by some friends, thanks for lending me your hands. When I was down in my university life, you guys do not hesitate to help me. Thanks for the yum cha sessions and anything throughout 2010.

Andres Iniesta (CAM) Here goes to my foundation friends. Feel so sorry to switch my class previously. Seriously, I feel so shock, happy, and touched when you guys are still friends with me. Thanks for calling me for the gang's birthday celebrations, steamboat, barbeque,

Sergio Busquest (CDM) Madelaine. I have nothing to say on you as I have just known you for months. You are on the list because serious talk, "based on my observation", you are a kind and good friend. Nice to be same group with you last semester. Hmm... what else? Ok, in conclusion, until now, you are a true friend.

Pedro (LF) Danielle. I know I know. Although I always thank you, you seem do not accept it. Lets make it here =) Serious talk. I was facing dilemma on friendship matters during last semester. A bit hard to concentrate. Thanks a lot for guilding me, helping me, and talking to me when I was having bad mood to talk. As I told Mad, you are not my friend, you are my good friend.

David Villa (ST) Primary School Classmates. Although all of us did not meet for years, I really appreciate the friendship of us. Melvin, Camenn, Junjie, and others. You guys know what? I was extremely happy during the night before our gathering during CNY. I really missed the moments during our primary school life. =)

Lionel Messi (LWM) Secondary School Friends. At last, all of you are mentioned. Again, this is a truth and you cannot deny it. You guys played many important roles in my life. Motivations and happiness. We laughed together. We played together. We cried together. We missed each other together. Enjoyed and appreciated the happiness that all of you gave me during 2010."BUDDIES"

Tired...

To be continued...